Unspoken Prayer
by Sirius Lives
Summary: Lillian Rose Evans is unaccepted wherever she goes. Now an orphan, she has no idea what to do. That is until she met James Potter, and after this unexpected meating, Lily learns to expect the unexpected, worry for today, and live like there's no tomorrow.
1. Prologue

_you don't see me_

_and i don't know where you are_

_or who you are_

_or when you will be here_

_but in this unspoken prayer_

_i pray to God_

_that you will be mine_

_always_

_and forever_

_till the end of time_

_---------------Prologue---------------_

Lillian Rose Evans sighed as she stepped out of her Ford Mustang and loaded her trunk and owl's cage onto a trolley. This was just going to be another long year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Sure, Hogwarts was her home, but that didn't mean she enjoyed it. No one ever talked to her, but she didn't care. Nothing really mattered anymore. Not since her parents died. Petunia, her older sister, had come back to their parents' home to try and comfort her, but to no avail. 

Lily walked gloomily through the barrier to Platform 9 ¾ and loaded her things into a compartment on the Hogwarts Express. She sat down and sighed as she caught her reflection in the window, her Head Girl badge reflecting in the compartment's light. Her oval face was shaped perfectly by long, slightly curled red hair, and her eyes were outlined with a thin line of black eyeliner and mascara. Lily loved her eyes. She got them from her mother, and, according to Mary Anne Evans, Lily's eyes held a magic all their own.

To anyone on the outside, Lily was beautiful and very mature for her young age of seventeen.

To Lily, she was whatever she wanted herself to be. _Mum told me never to care what others thought of me, and I never have... I never will, _Lily thought to herself. 

Lily's parents had been killed in a car accident, she had been told, but she knew the truth. There was no point in trying to hide it. They were killed by the most feared wizard of their time, Voldemort. Lily thought her sister would hate her for it, but Petunia understood. "It's just like mum used to say," Petunia had explained to her younger sister. "'One bad apple doesn't mean they're all rotten.'"

As Lily felt the Hogwarts Express come to a stop, she picked up her things and left the train. As she stepped out, she heard the familiar voice of Hagrid calling, "Firs' Years over here! Firs' Years!" 

Lily put her suitcase and owl's cage with all of the other luggage, found an empty horseless carriage, and climbed in. She noticed out of the corner of her eye three other girls who looked like they were starting their sixth year reluctantly climb in. _All the other carriages must be full,_ Lily thought. She heard them begin to whisper and look at her as though she were of a whole other species entirely. But that was okay, she was used to it.

Yes, it was just going to be another long year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

-------------------------------------------

**A/N: Hello, hello, hello, everyone! I know I'm also writing another fic (What If for those of you who haven't look at my bio yet), but the words "unspoken prayer" popped into my head while we were praying in church this morning (how ironic...) and one thing led to another and.. well you know how it goes.**

**I hope you have tears in your eyes... hehehe I'm trying to set the mood as 'depressing' 0=).  Poor Lily, eh?**

**Five horseshoes and a purple cow for my reviewers! **

**Disclaimer - - - Anything that sounds remotely insane and makes you think that whoever even thought of putting it on paper (website w/e) is on crack is probably mine. Everything else belongs to the wonderful J. K. Rowling, Goddess of Writing.**

**moo**

**thank  you have a nice day**

**--MonkeysUnclette**


	2. Chapter One : Are You Talking To Me?

_you're still not here_

_i've yet to hear your voice_

_maybe you're lost?_

_i'll help you find your way_

_you're meant to be here_

_here with me_

_forever and ever_

_and evermore_

_someday you will come_

_i know_

_as we both speak_

_this unspoken prayer_

_---------------Are you talking to me?---------------_

The Welcoming Feast in the Great Hall was nothing special. The First Years were sorted, Dumbledore gave his usual speech, everyone ate, the Head Boy and Girl were introduced (much to Lily's dismay), and everyone left. It was the same every year. No, definitely nothing special. Not to Lily anyway.

As soon as she was sure everyone had gotten to the Gryffindor common room and into their dorms all right, Lily walked up another flight of stairs to another level of the Gryffindor tower. It was made just for the Head Boy and Girl (with separate rooms, of course). There was a table in the middle of the main room, probably for planning things and the like. There was a very large and comfy-looking couch in front of the fireplace, which was filling the room with its light. To the left of the fireplace was a door with a plaque that said "Head Boy", and to the right was another door with a plaque that said "Head Girl".

Lily looked around the room and sighed. She would go to bed later. Right now she just needed to think about what was going on. She had recently been orphaned, her sister was married and was living on the other side of London, she would be graduating from Hogwarts this year and had no where to go, and she had resorted to something she never even would have thought of a year ago.

Lily sighed as she made her way to the couch. As she sat down she lifted up her sleeves and looked at the long, thin scars along her wrists. She never went too deep with the razor, just enough to draw blood. Lily had somehow got it in her head that if she opened herself on the outside, all the hurt on the inside would come flowing out.

As Lily gazed at her scars with a far away look on her face, she felt a drop of water on her wrists. _I told myself I wouldn't cry..._ She thought, chiding herself. _Mum wouldn't have wanted me to be upset, and Dad always told me to be strong... 'Always be strong, my precious flower...'_ Lily couldn't take it anymore. All of the pain and hurt that she had experienced since the murder of her parents two months ago came pouring out. She curled herself up in a ball on the couch and cried, completely forgetting that there was supposed to be a Head Boy in the room, too.

And there was.

-------------------------------------------

James Potter walked down the hall leading to the Gryffindor common room laughing with his friends.

"That was _great_!" Sirius Black exclaimed.

"Did you see the look on Snape's face?" cried Peter Pettigrew.

"What a great was to start seventh year, eh?" asked Remus Lupin.

"Definitely. So, what do we do tomorrow?"

They called themselves the Marauders. The four of them were the tightest group of friends and biggest pranksters Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had ever seen. They were the most popular people in the school, and everyone wanted to be friends with them. Well, almost everyone.

It was a well-known fact to anyone and everyone in the whole of England (that was a witch or a wizard, of course) that Gryffindor and Slytherin hated each other with a much-heated passion. Slytherin was always the butt of Gryffindor's pranks, and Slytherin almost always found a way to get house points deducted from Gryffindor.

The Marauders made sure this tradition never died.

James Potter and Sirius Black were the so-called "ring leaders" of the Marauders. Often mistaken for brothers, both had lengthy black hair and blue eyes. The only thing really setting them apart was the fact that, no matter how hard he tried, James could never seem to tame his hair.

Remus Lupin was the levelheaded one who could always think of an excuse if they were caught out of bed after hours (which wasn't often, thanks to James' Invisibility Cloak). His sandy hair, sparkling gray eyes and freckles were enough to make any girl go weak, but Remus didn't like to get too close to anyone. He didn't want to risk losing a friendship because of his lycanthropy. 

Peter Pettigrew was only slightly shorter than the other three Marauders, and was only slightly less popular. Not that it mattered to him. He had three of the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for, what more could he possibly want?

After the four of them entered the common room and said their goodnights, James walked up the other flight of stairs that led to the Head Dorms. He entered the room silently, and saw the Head Girl curled up on the couch. He quietly walked up behind her and noticed that her shoulders were shaking and quiet sobs were coming from her mouth.

Was she _crying_?

-------------------------------------------

Lily's tears slowly stopped as she felt the presence of someone behind her. Slowly she sat up and turned around, and let out a small gasp when she saw the Head Boy staring at her with a curious expression on his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "Why were you crying?"

"What's it to you?" Lily spat back. "It's not like anyone cares. No one ever does."

The Head Boy was taken aback. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just thought that-"

"You just thought that what? That you could find out what was wrong and then tease me about it? Fine. Go ahead. Go ahead and make fun of me after my parents died. It's not like it would be any different than all the other shit I've put up with the past six years." Lily fumed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down! I was going to say I just thought that if you needed any comfort I was here to offer it." The Head Boy defended himself.

Lily glared and got up from the couch, completely forgetting that her sleeves were still rolled up. She walked over to him and spat, "The last thing I need is sympathy."

The Head Boy glanced down at her wrists and saw several thin lines running parallel to each other. "What happened to your wrists?"

"Cat," Was the monotone answer from Lily as she hurriedly rolled down her sleeves. She thought for a moment. "Why are you talking to me, anyway?"

"Why, is there some sort of rule against it?"

"No, it's just that for the past six years the only reason anyone would ever talk to me was to find something else to make a mockery of. And when I refused to respond, people would start rumors." Lily said with a sour smile. The Head Boy opened his mouth to say something but Lily interrupted. "Oh, of course I know _you_ would never do anything like that. No, not James Potter, ring leader number one of the Marauders with a heart too big for his own good."

"Well what am I supposed to do, stand around and let the rumors grow rather than try to stop them?" James asked calmly, so as not to heighten her anger.

"Just don't pretend like you know me when I don't even know myself." Lily responded in a low voice. "Good-night, James."

James watched her walk into her room and shut the door behind her and sighed. What had she said? "_Go ahead and make fun of me after my parents died. It's not like it would be any different than any of the other shit I've put up with the last six years._" He wished there was something he could do for Lily, but then he remembered what Sirius had said to him on Platform 9 ¾ when he was showing a First Year where to put his things.

"You're too soft, man. You need to stop thinking about others so often... it'll get you in trouble someday."

James shook his head and sat down on the couch. Sirius was probably right, but sometimes he just couldn't help it.

James put his head in his hands and sighed as he went over his conversation with Lily. _She must be the girl Father told me about,_ He thought to himself.

Anicel Potter was the Minister of Magic, and had informed James of this poor Muggle girl whose parents the feared and powerful Voldemort had murdered. She had a sister who was married and living on the other side of London and a brother who was in his last year at the Muggle college, Oxford University. She had already been experiencing some emotional unstableness, Professor Dumbledore had informed James, and the death of her parents was without a doubt going to push her to do some things she would regret.

_She has **got** to stop cutting herself_, James thought with a yawn. _I'll talk to her about it in the morning_. With one last glance at the door labeled Head Girl, James walked into his own room and drifted off into a not-so-peaceful slumber.

**A/N: Sorry sorry sorry about the wait! I got stuck on several parts of the story just because. Mmhm. Oh and for those of you who are also reading What If, I'm also working on that. I have a busy summer so I'm not getting to write as much as I would like.**

**Right, anyway...**

**Five horseshoes and a purple cow go to:**

**Saerelle**

**ShadowGraffiti*CrystalHorse72-** Ya know I had already written the part where it says that she was cutting herself when I read your review and I was like HRM! Haha glad you like it! And ya know I probably would join that little kitchen utensil dealio if I thought that my kitchen utensil of choice wouldn't be considered an act of terrorism.... xP

**SleepieCareBear (who gets a special pink pony)-** The only thing I can tell you about Petunia being nice is that everything will be explained in the end. The clouds will part and it all will become clear. Yeah...

**KKDT**

**Skittles713**

**BlueEyedWildmage- **Don't worry. I'm not one for clichés. In fact I _might_ make it the other way around... though I've seen that in some other stories I've read so I don't think I'll do that. I don't know... I'll think of something ;). I won't try to ruin the mood and if I do all you have to do is flame me and I'll fix it :P. I'm not going to have them become best friends or anything but _something_ has to happen because they have to fall in love. I'll try not to make it too mushy, though. But I can assure you that they will _not_ have a happy ending. But I think I may be giving a little too much away... 

**Disclaimer - - - All UFO's (unidentifiable fiction objects) belong to me. Everything else belongs to the Writing Goddess.**

**happy dancing chickens to you**

**--MonkeysUnclette**


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